Changes, Updates and sense of a new beginning

I am here, sitting in the dark at 3:22 am hearing only the sound of water droplets splashing into a bucket.  It's kind of relaxing, but a story for another day. 

 

I have been sick for the last week and when I lie down to sleep I get these coughing fits.  Since I didn't want to disturb Rob's sleep I came into the living room.   I haven't read any of my favorite blogs since maybe November? So since I could not sleep I thought it was a good time to catch up on my reading.  I see a lot of people are still struggling with their weight loss journey and others have done well at keeping it off. .   I applauded all of you for trying and being present in your journey. 

 

It got me thinking about my own journey.   My last post was really last May .   A lot of things have changed some for the good, some for the worse.  

 

-I have been smoke free for just under 16 months

 

- Learning about my spirituality

 

-I have made plans to change careers

 

-I have really focus a lot of time and energy finding an answer to my sleep issues and fatigue

 

I have had numerous  tests done to narrow down the answer: thyroid, sugar, b12, Lyme disease, kidney's, vitamin D, iron,  and the list goes on and on.  I was normal in everything accept iron and vitamin D but since last year have increase those levels to normal ranges.  I had a sleep studies done and have been diagnosed with  moderate sleep apnea. Which basically means I stop breathing 30 times in an hour. I was so excited to finally have an answer to why I was so tired!!  This was back in October. I am a bit better but not 100% like I was hoping.   I do sleep with a CPAP machine every night which was a big adjustment but now I am pretty much use to it. 

 

So I have been working with my sleep doctor, my chiropractor and GP to still find the answer.  I have slowly made positive adjustments to my everyday health.   I have been taking vitamins everyday for probably a year now hoping that would help boast my energy. (I deserve a medal for doing that!  I really hate taking vitamins)  I have drastically cut back on my Diet Coke consumption.  One a day now.  I used to have probably 5 to 6 a day.  That's the only caffeine I get.  I have never been a coffee or tea person.   That was recommended by my sleep doctor, I didn't realize that  caffeine can stay in your system for up to 12 hours!

 

This past January when I was getting blood work done.  I saw a sign for food sensitivities that listed all the symptoms that comes with it. . I had most of the symptoms so  I thought it wouldn't hurt to get it done.  What do I have to lose?   I asked my GP and got the blood work done.  It turns out I have a sensitive to a several foods.  Here's the list

 

Agar (it's found in some yogurt and Asian foods)

Egg white

Pea

Cola nut

Wheat

Amaranth

Pistachio

sunflower seed

yeast (brewer's)

crab

bean (red kidney)

Mussel

Mushroom

Malt

Milk (sheep)

Milk (goat)

 

It's a lot eh?  So basically you are suppose to eliminate all these foods for 3 months and then slowly reintroduce the foods to see if you have any changes in symptoms.  It has been about 2 months now and I have noticed some changes.   I am not as sleepy, my face is not swollen and I don't get the bloating feeling anymore.   Some food were pretty easy to eliminated.  The hardest would be egg white, wheat and red kidney beans.   I have lost a bit of weight around 10 pounds.   I have not been tracking my food intake but I think that is going to change in the foreseeable future.   I am trying to make small changes that become  healthy habits. 

 

I also learned how to cook yummy healthy meals from scratch!!  I even sometimes like cooking now.   I joined a new program back in August to lose weight  but instead of losing weight I learned to cook instead !  ha ha at least it wasn't a complete loss. (I didn't lose weight because I wasn't following the program properly)

 

 

My workouts in the past year has been spotty but since February I have gotten into more of routine.   Which is a step in the right direction. 

 

Now for the bad :(    I am the heaviest I have ever been.  In February I weighed 292,  that number is so defeating.   I am currently 281 and hoping to reach 270's soon.   I am trying  not to be to discouraged by the scale but sometimes it is so embarrassing.  Sometimes I don't want to  even hangout with friends and family for the fear of being judged. It's a really struggle sometimes. 

 

So since my last post I have learned a lot about myself, changed things for the better and now hoping to get this weight off for good!   I don't want another fad diet.  I want an eating plan that I can do for life. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still here!

I am still here and I have never stopped reading all my favourite blogs.  But I haven't felt connected as much as I use to with blogging.   I am still struggling with my  weight but I am starting a new program which starts August 2.  Here's  the link of you are interested. https://www.12wbt.com It deals with nutrition, exercise and the mind and changing your thought process.  I will never give up on me and trying to be healthy.   My story will not be perfect but it's mine and I will get to where I am heading.  If you want to follow my journey if anyone still reads this.  follow me on Instagram.   My user name is trainingmyfat or on Twitter.  

Week four and five

Last week was a hard week.  I had some tough decisions to make to end some negativity in my life.  I did it but it wasn't easy and it was very emotional.  I am proud of myself for knowing I deserve better.      I did have a couple of binges because I am still learning to how to feel.    I Tracked everything I ate.   And I went and weighted in even though I really didn't want to.  I ended up losing 0.1 you don't know how happy I was to see that I didn't gain!  I haven't weight in for this week I will go Thursday and see how it goes.  Last Saturday i complete my 3rd and last 10km.   It was so nice to have my friends and family cheering me on.   For me I am going to stick to 5km's and get better with my time.  I am still slow as molasses and it is something I really want to work on.     I did hurt my knee during the race around the 8km mark.  It's been swollen ever since :(. I am frustrated because of my weight gain and I am thinking that it caused my injury!  I really didnt think I would gain weight when I quit smoking but I did!   But I am not going back almost 5 months smoke free and I just have to work that much harder!   I did go to my chiropractor today to see if he could help with my knee and he did!  I swear he has magic hands.  It turns out my knee cap was out of place from the run.   He put it back which hurt ALOT!!  But the swelling is down and is feeling better.













Have a great week :).

Week 3

I lost .5 this week for a total of three pounds :).

What I did well:  I did a lot of exercise and tracked my food
What I can can improve on:  meal prep is key for me .  It's makes it easy and I am less  tempted to reach for foods that have very little nutritional value.

Until next week

Week two results

I had to work tonight so I couldn't go to the  meeting.  I did however weight in.  I'm down 2.5 for the week.   It's a good start!  

What I did well:  I did a lot of food prep.  Tried some healthy recipes.  Drank water when I was feeling hungry to make sure I wasn't just dehydrated.  Tracked everything I ate.  Practice yoga.  Took my vitamins everyday.   

What I can improve on:  getting more activity points

I am off on Thursday.  I might stop in at WW to go the meeting since I missed it today.  

What I will work on for this week:  I had 15 activity points for the week so I would like to add 5 extra points for this week.   

Thanks for the support!  

Third time's a charm (week one)

 Since my last post I have decided to join Weight Watchers (again) for the third time.   I know I have gained weight but I really have learned a lot about myself, exercise and nutrition.    I have learned that I have a problem with refined sugar.  The more I eat of the white stuff the more I want.   This will never change.  I have stopped eating white sugar for over 2 months.  I  have slowly eliminated the food that I binge on and introduced  healthier less tempting foods.    If I have a craving for ice cream I throw frozen bananas in my new food processor and it really does the trick and tastes great!  If I have a craving for chocolate I have been making these energy balls.  (cocoa, dates, unsweetened coconut, coconut oil, oats, almonds)  The dates are really sweet so no need to add white sugar.  I can eat one or two balls and I am satisfied.  I have learned that I have to be patient with my weight loss and if I hit a plateau that's okay.  I have to trust the process.   I think that's what happened last time I joined WW.  I was losing and losing then all of sudden I stopped losing got upset  and well just gave up!     I have learned that I can be really hard on myself and this has hindered my weight loss process.  I am slowly trying to be more kind to myself and forgive and move on.    I have learned that I am not a bad cook.  Unless Rob is lying to me. lol   I have been trying new recipes, asking a ton of questions to my cooking friends.  And slowly starting to enjoy my creations.   I have learned that I am adventurous person and I am willing to try new things whether it is trying spaghetti squash for the first time or trying a new workout class.     I have learned that I have to trust myself and be honest with how I am feeling.  I have also learned I am a brave person for stepping on the scale at WW and attending a meeting.  It's not easy but I did it. 

 

Week One- 263.8

 

I am ready to start the program, to continue living a healthy lifestyle, being patient and hard working.   

 

Here we go! 

 

Monday will be my weigh in day. 

 

See you Monday!

 

update weight gain

It's been a struggle since I got back from Cuba.    I am the highest weight since I started this blog.    It makes me feel sick and frustrated!  Last time I stepped on the scale I was 264!   I gained 20 pounds since I came back from down south.  Something is not right?   Since my last post I decided to cut any foods that I binge on.  Since the middle of March I have refrained from eating chocolate bars, chips, donuts, cookies and ice cream.  Pizza is the hardest to let go.   I have been eating more bread and fried foods since quitting those items above and I am wondering if the bread is making me bloated?   Even if I gained a ton a weight I am happy to break the cycle of binge eating.   I have been doing weight training for the last 5 weeks plus I started running.   My Fitbit sends me a a weekly update on my steps which is roughly 60000 to 65000 steps.    My diet is not perfect by any means but something is not right if I am gaining that much weight while still be pretty active.  My sleeping has been horrible lately and wondering if that is  the cause???  Who knows?     I am going to continue being active, eating right and hopefully something will change.


Today I started a 30 day online yoga challenge with my cousin and her friend.  So far so good and hopefully this will help make me feel calmer.   Also the days are getting longer and it finally feels like spring.     On Sunday Rob and I had the day off together so we decide to take a walk to the farmers market.  In total we walked about 6km.  It was so nice to be in the sunshine!  


Thanks for reading my rant!   Happy Spring everyone :). 

I run because......

Following my last post I have decided to say good bye to sugar but not like I usually do.  Like smoking I am being gentle with myself and slowly saying good bye to all my "close friends "foods that I binge on.  Ice cream, chips, donuts, pies, pizza, cookies, chocolate bars, bagels and cakes.   I have set a quit date March 21st first day of spring.  Just like smoking I no longer want these foods in my diet and healthy life style.   I know this will be harder than quitting smoking but I know I can do this.

I just finished my first week of weight training , I found a nine week program in "The Oxygen Magazine" and I am liking it so far and I am definitely feeling it the next day.   I haven't been very consistent with weight training in the last few years and I wanted to see if you could get actual results if you followed a program all the way through.  I will keep you posted how everything goes.  I worked out four times last week and I am feeling much better.  

I also started running as well and bought this sweatshirt lol


have a good week everyone!  

Things on my mind

I am not sure if any of you have smoked before?   But lately I have been thinking about addiction in general.   I quit smoking 61 days ago.   I am happy not to have to go for that nagging smoke every couple of hours to help with my nicotine withdrawal.  Nicotine sure has a hold on you.  I enjoy not smelling  like smoke, saving money and having stronger lungs.   My sense of smell is even stronger than before and I noticed my teeth are whiter as well.    I have been gentle with myself in this process.  I used an e-cigarette without nicotine to help with quitting.  I used it as much as I wanted at first.  Now I barely use it anymore.

 The first month I quit smoking  I also gave up sugar and bread and was eating clean.  After the first month I slipped up a few times and now after coming back from my trip from Cuba  I  am eating sugar like it is going out of style.    I have had to make a few tough decisions in the past month and basically I just didn't want to deal with them.  So I ate instead more like binged.   The first problem was I had to say "no" to being a bridesmaid in my friends wedding because I cannot afford it.  The plane ticket alone was 800 dollars.   It was a hard decision to make because she has been my friend for over 20 years.   It was just bad timing really.  Rob and I had planned a trip to Cuba before she even got engaged in September.  Plus with me going into my slow season at work there was just no way I can afford a trip for this upcoming October and I refuse to go into debt when Rob and I have been trying so hard to get out of debt.    I finally dealt with the issue on Friday.  I am still feeling guilty about it but I know it is the right decision and I have to let it go. 

The second issue was the last of our debt.   Together Rob and I in the last 5 years have paid off over $35000.   We have about $16000 left and I just wanted to consolidate the rest of it at a lower interest rate so we can pay it off even faster.   It took 5 times to going to the bank, numerous phone calls and lots of frustration.   In the end after a month and half  we finally got what we wanted.   But it should not have taken as long as it did. 

Yes those are the reasons I ate but I need to learn not to use food for comfort.  I guess my problem is and maybe someone can give me some insight.    I am either great when I am following an eating plan but as soon as I eat something sweet.   I go off the deep end and eat everything in sight!   I have tried moderation and it doesn't work for me.  But then I read articles that say you should have everything in moderation otherwise it leads to a binge!   With smoking it  is clear.  I stop smoking cigarettes.  If someone is an alcoholic they quit drinking.  Or if you have a problem with gambling you quit it all together.   If you can't see it already I am really confused.   lol    I was thinking of making a list of all the foods that lead to a binge and just stop eating them all together.  I was also thinking of going to an concellor to see if they have tips to stop the cycle because I growing very tired of this and just want it to stop.     Having a sugar addiction is one of the hardest to stop but I am willing to try.    

Thanks for reading. 

P.S I had a great time in Cuba!  It was a nice break from the weather we are having in Ottawa, Canada.  If you are interested her are some pictures from our trip.  Cuba Pictures

P.P.S.  On Monday  I am starting my 12 week training program for my 10km Race in May




 

200th post

I can't believe its been over 3 and half years since I started typing my first post!  Next post I want to write all the goals I would like to accomplish in the coming years. Thanks for reading and watching!  http://youtu.be/tQAJDET5UpE

Day 15 (reposted)

See you again on Thursday, weigh in day. http://youtu.be/-xbdFurkG2E

Week one

here is how week one went :). Enjoy!   http://youtu.be/VdOnxC1lOag

Happy New Year 2015

Here's a new video :) I hope everyone had a great holiday :). Here the link http://youtu.be/3dQ3qS1o0NI


Sorry it's bad quality but here is our Christmas card for the year !  Yes we are cheesy.  I took it myself with the help of a tripod since my lovely sister moved far away.  I think I look huge but Rob looks great!

Vlog

Here goes nothing!  (Please click on the link :). I hope you like it!) 

ONE SMALL CHANGE A WEEK

The last entry I wrote I thought I had saved it to draft but it looks like I sent instead.  Thanks for all the thoughtful comments I real appreciate it. 

About two weeks ago when I was feeling blah and frustrated I went to amazon.ca to see if there was any books I could purchase about meal plans or healthy weight loss.  I came across a book that Chris Powell wrote.  I am a big fan of The Extreme Weight loss Show and I follow both him and his wife on Instragram.   The book is called "Choose More, Lose more for Life" he co-wrote it with his wife Heidi.   I have read a couple of chapters so far and I am really enjoying it.   There are three main parts to the book, nutrition and his eating plan, exercise and transformation (building your self esteem)  I am going to work towards following the eating plan.  But my main focus write now is on small baby steps and goals to build up my self esteem and self worth.   Lets be honest,  I know what to do to eat properly and I have been working out for years.   My main problem is letting my emotions get the best of me and having zero self worth.

In one of the chapters he talks about "the power of keeping promises"  all of us including me say things like "I will never eat sugar again"  "I am going to workout an hour a day, everyday"  "I will start my diet on Monday" and the list goes on. and then we break the promise to ourselves feel guilty, shameful.  Chris believes it is better to start out small whether it's to workout for 5 minutes a day for a week.  Or having a serving of vegetables but making sure you keep the promise.  This he believes will built your self worth and make you feel better about yourself.  And you just build from there week after week.

 I started off with having a serving of vegetables everyday. I am good at eating protein, healthy fats, fruit and low fat dairy but sadly vegetables was not a propriety  in my diet.  (well at least not everyday.)  I started this last Saturday and have had at least one serving a day some days even four servings.    

 

Chris has a list of 100 small goals to accomplish.  There are three categories, Food Promises, Body Promises and Mind Promises.  Some I have already incorporated into my healthy lifestyle for example :

 

1. Choose skim milk over whole milk.

 

Rob and I buy 1 percent or 2 percent lactose free milk.  I rarely drink it.  Instead I use unsweetened almond milk in my smoothies in the morning

 

2. Leave cream and sugar out of my coffee.

 

I don't drink coffee so that's not a problem ;)

 

3. Eat breakfast every morning.

 

For over a year now I have been doing this usually it's a protein shake on its own or with some eggs whites and toast.

 

4. Switch from white bread to brown bread. 

 

Rob and I have been doing this for years.

 

5.  Avoid refined white pasta. 

 

I have been eating either rice pasta or whole wheat pasta.

 

6. Get up from my desk and walk around for five minute a day.

 

I am a waitress so that's not a problem.  At work I usually walk 12000 to 18000 steps a day.

 

7. Do my own housework instead of hiring it out.

 

I wish!!!  Rob and I do our own house work.

 

8. Exercise for five minutes a day. 

 

I like to exercise and to this a lot. 

 

9.  Join an exercise group or gym.

 

I have been a member of gym for over 5 years now.

 

10. sign up for a community or charity walk/race.

 

I have 10 races under my belt to date.

 

I am off to a good start.  There is 100 and 10 are already part of my lifestyle. 

 

 

I will keep you posted about the book when I finished it. 

 

This week I started going back to the gym.   I haven't been going consistently for the past two months.   So far this week I  have been 4 times.  I decided to go for 30 minutes a day to get back in the habit again.   For the next six weeks I am running one day and weight lifting the next.  Taking Saturday off as rest day and practicing yoga on Sundays.   Even if the scale is not budging exercise is something good for my body and for my mind.  

 

Next week for my mini goal is to focus on, Eating protein at every meal.

 

Thanks for reading!  What small changes have you made in your life to make you healthier?

Try

It has been awhile since I have written on my blog partly because I am not sure what to write.  I have been extremely frustrated with this whole weight loss thing.  I have literally been at this for  5 years.  Sure I may have had a couple weeks where my head hasn't been completely in the game but even then it has been at the back of my mind.   You can see that from my blog posts, Facebook posts, Intragram and my fitness pal.  I have tried goals of the week and monthly goals sometimes I failed and sometimes I  succeeded.   During this blog I have ran 5km, 10km and most recently a half marathon.  I have tried new exercises classes and  several different healthy eating plans.  Weight Watchers, South Beach, Gluten Free Diet and the 17 day diet.   And I am not one of those people who try for a couple of days.  I commit myself to months and months to each plan.  But still I sit at present at 248.  I am up over 22 pounds since I first wrote my first blog post over 3 years ago.   I am grateful to have met many people in the blog world and follow your proud moments and struggles through your own journey.  But at present I am exhausted!  of trying and trying and not seeing the results!  I am not sure what to do anymore.  This post is not meant for you to feel sorry for me but I am stating some facts.  Do you guys have any suggestions?   

I DID IT!

I completed my first half marathon, two Sunday's ago.  I accomplished two things 1. To complete it and 2. To not be last.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.   The first 10 km actually wasn't too bad.  They had seven cheering stations along the way and it was wonderful to see all the spectators cheering us on especially when the rain came down.  I will get to that in second.   There was over 25,000 runners in the Army Race.  12,000 in the 5km and 13,000 in the half marathon.  All the proceeds went to the ill and injured in the military.  Over $300,000 was raised this year. 

 

I can't remember if I told you about how I signed up for the race? ( If I did skip to the next paragraph.)  One night after reading one of my favorite blogs "That loud Redhead" I went to checkout the Army Race website, to sign  up for the 5 km .  I had just finished reading how she had entered too late for her half marathon.    And of course the same thing happened to me.  5km was SOLD OUT!  They had no 10Km in this race series.  So the next best thing was a HALF MARATHON.  I had told myself I would never run that far of a distance.  But feeling a bit loopy I said why not?  and paid the fee.   I posted it on Facebook for all my friends and family to see!  So there was no turning back.  I am too stubborn!  Did I mention I only had two months to train?  I know, I know I am nuts! 

I think I just lost my marbles lol. I have been in such a rut these past few months. Go big or go home! Once I commit to something I am in. I guess I better start training. Lol #100happydays #day69 #halfmarathon #fitfam #prayforme!

 

 

 

 

Back to the race.  The first half was tough but I was feeling good but once I hit around the 13km  mark It went downhill from there my left hip starting hurting and it started raining, more like pouring to the point my clothes were soaked and weighting me down an extra 5 pounds.  Then my headphones stopped working during the flood but luckily from past races I brought an extra pair and thank god they worked!   I need my music :)   At one point on the left side of the road the faster runners could tell I was struggling and they started cheering me on!  Telling me, I could do it!  You are doing great!  mean while I have another 8km still to go.     By the 15km  mark my hip really started to hurt.  I decided to speed walk the last 6km because I didn't want to injury myself.   By 17km it was all mental I was tired, in pain and just wanted to stop!!  But I kept I telling myself I just did 17 km! I can finish this.     I thought a lot about my grandfather in the last 3km and asked him for the drive to push through.  He was in the navy in World War II and he passed away a couple of years ago and I would like to think I get my disciple and stubbornness from him.    The last km, my hand started to tingle and when I looked down one of my hands was three times the size of my other.  I started to freak out because I was so close to the end.   This women beside me saw that look of horror in my eyes and I explain what was happening she said it was normal and to just raise my hand above my heart level and wave my hand a bit.  I am sure I looked idiotic but I didn't get care.  I just wanted to cross the finish line.     The emotions I went  through when the metal was placed around my neck by someone in the army was a feeling I can't describe it was happy, tired, exhausted and proud all wrapped up into one!  I am happy I completed it. 

 

My time was pretty awful but I never stopped once.    It took me 3 hours and 45 minutes  I burned 2700 calories!  No matter what my time was I finished and no one can take that away from me.  I am a half marathoner :) 

 

 

 

 

Week 5

I was hoping to lose a pound but I lost .6 (total of 12.6) I have been on this healthy lifestyle for a long time and I just want to be a healthy weight already!  I would like to think I am a patience person but come already!  Sometimes I just want snap my fingers and be magically thin! A girl can dream right?    I find I have been weighing myself daily sometimes twice a day and seeing my weight fluctuate is also not good for the mind! As silly as it may sound I decided to put my scale in the trunk of my car and only bring it out for weigh in.    Hopefully this will help with my sanity.   

Weekly Workouts

Wednesday- Running ( 37 mins)

Sunday- Hiking  (1 hour 20 mins)

Monday- Running (43 mins)

I have been working a lot more hours lately and I walk well over 10000 steps a day.   Hopefully this will help with my weight loss.  I know I just have to keep eating healthy, working out and drinking my water and eventually the weight will come off.   

I can do this,  I know I can!   One foot in front of the other :)  

How do you stay motivated? 

Here we go! Week 4

Last Thursday I was stressing out about the humidity forecasted on Friday. (It was 40 C and to my American friends that equals 104 F)   Why does that matter ?  because I had to work as a waitress and serve food and drinks and every time it is super humid I am a sweaty mess especially on my face.   It's embarrassing and really besides medication there is not much I can do.   My coworkers are always commenting on it which causes more stress and more sweating!   I decided instead of worrying about it I would go to the pharmacy to see if they have anything helpful.  I did this at  two am but sadly the only  products I found where  for underarm, the palm of you hands or the sole of your feet.   I did not want to risk putting it on my face and  breaking out on top of it!   At this point I am feeling miserable and wanting my anxiety to go away!   I wandered the store to find my drug of choice which meant anything with sugar.  I ended up buying a bag of 20 mini chocolate bars knowing full well it was a bad I idea!  I had about 15 bars before I came to my senses and realized I wasn't even tasting what I was consuming.   And it wasn't making me feeling any better.  I grabbed all the empty wrappers and  had enough  strength to throw the rest out.  I logged all the chocolate bars in my fitness pal.  On top of that I had purchased a big bag of Pop Chips.  As soon as I logged my calories I opened the bag and dumped the contents in the garbage.  Overall I am proud of myself for the end result.  And I hope this is another step to conquering my binge disorder.  It is not easy to write this,  I feel ashamed of my behavior but my hope is for someone to read this and realize they are not alone in this battle.  

In other news I gained 0.6 pounds last week. (Total loss 12 to date)  Beside the binge I had on Thursday I have been good with my workouts and eating.   Tomorrow is weigh in day and I  am hoping to see a loss!  

Thanks for reading :)  

Week Three

I am a little late on my stats from last week.  

Here goes:  243.4 (-2.2)  Total of 12.6 pounds loss

Weekly Workouts

Thursday- Swimming Treading water, 30 mins (220 calories)

Friday- Jogging, 31 mins (292 calories)

Sunday- Elliptical, 43 mins (314 calories) 

I have now been on this journey for 26 days and  I feel my fitness has improved.  I am making healthier food choices.  I am cooking a lot more which I am slowly starting to enjoy.  What I am also learning from this journey is that I cannot be perfect all the time.   That I need to take one day at a time and be present.  And if I make a mistake to not give up!   A week before my period my emotions go haywire and I am so up and down.  I have been this way since I was 11 years old.  I doubt myself, think I am not good enough. Basically I am my worst enemy.  For one week a month it is a struggle to deal with my emotions and stay on track.  I am glad I am aware of it and that is half the battle.  If anyone has suggestions for bad PMS??  I would love to hear it.  

Thanks for reading.