What if?

Lately I have been pondering about positive self image and wondering if loving myself at any size could be possible?   For years and years I have been fat shaming myself.  Knit  picking at all the things I hate about my body but forgetting all the things my body has done for me over the years.  Whether it is playing sports, yoga , walking or running.  Maybe if I didn't focus or obsess over my thunder thighs, cellulite butt,  my crowded teeth or my double chin maybe  I wouldn't consume large amounts of food to comfort me when I am feeling  down about the way I look or disappointed when the scale is not going the right way.   What if I accepted every part of me the way I am at this very moment?  Maybe then, I would stop abusing my body by binge eating. 

Time for a change

It has been awhile since my last post.  I am still here!  Fighting the good fight.   I have been feeling very down lately but slowly I am trying to snap out of it!   I am missing my friends a great deal.  Over the last two years I have had 4 close friends move away.  Most recently my sister.    I didn't think this would be so hard but friendship is a huge part of life.   On top of that one my oldest friend who lives in the same city we barely talk anymore.  

I know there is Facebook, Skype, texting, phone etc. and I would like to think I am a loyal dependable friend but sometimes I miss the way things use to be.  As you can see I do not like change.  

I am sick of being depressed and I am sure Rob is too!  I am extremely lucky to have an amazing supportive boyfriend but it's time to get out of this rut.  

It's time to reconnect with old friends, Try new things even if it is by myself.  I sometimes wonder where the fearless Joy went?  I was always trying new things.  Meeting new people and lately this has not been the case.  This needs to change.   

Finding a career has been another source of anxiety but I am taking steps to rectify the problem.  By seeing a career counselled in the near future.  I have been afraid to make the appointment because I am worried I will not get the answers I am looking for.  But if I don't try something I am also not any further ahead.  Why is it so hard to be a grown up???   

As for my weight loss journey I am still trying.  I cancelled my Weight Watchers account not because I quit but I needed a change.  I have been tracking with My Fitness Pal.  I love how it breaks up your carbs, fat and protein for the day.  It also shows what vitamins, sodium and fibre you consume throughout the day.  It's been three weeks of logging  and I am noticing a trend of eating too much sodium and not enough fibre.  It syncs up with my FitBit too!  And the best part its free!!! 

How are you doing?   What new hobbies have you been trying or would like to try? Thanks for reading!  

   

What if every women loved their body?

It's been a super hard week at work and I feel like change is coming my way.  I believe I am coming to a crossroads with my job and I feel soon it will be time to move on.  Things are still in the works but I can no longer be stressed and unhappy at my job.   Live is too short to be miserable.  

I had a good week in weight loss I lost 5.3 pounds.  I am sure it is a lot of water weight but I am glad the four pound gain from last week is gone!  

I am trying to come to terms with my healthy lifestyle.  I want to get to a place where I am determined and discipline to be the best person I can be but at the same time not obsessed consistently about my weight and the way I look.  I am trying to find a balance, I know this will not happen over night but this is something I am going to strive for.   

I have a 10 km race coming up this Saturday. This past week I have slowly gotten back into running listening to my body due to my back issues.  I am running on a grass football field as the moment to ease the contact and I will see where it takes me.  As for the race I will be speed walking and I am okay with that.  I absolutely love this race!  There will be over 10000 people joining me ;)  

My friend post this on Facebook and I think it is absolutely beautiful and hope one day I can love my body too!  

loving your body

Not going to give up

It has been a few weeks since I have posted and in my world that means I am hiding.   My weight loss has stalled and I have gained  more weight which is very disappointing.   Why does this have to be so hard???   I am a smart ambition girl who is consistently looking for new ways to motivate and encourage myself to be a healthier version of me.  

The positives in the last month is I am on back on track with my workouts.  I have gone for lots of walks and some couple of hikes.  I started weight lifting and doing workout classes.   I am NOT a lazy person.  Even with my job I am constantly moving.  Take tonight for example; I walked almost 14000 steps and I did not even go the gym.  

Food is the problem and more importantly the binge eating that consumes me.  It's not every day but eating a whole bag of chips and a pint of ice cream in one seating will put a damper on losing weight. In the past couple of years I am completely aware that I am doing it verses when I was in denial for so many years.  Some days I am able to stop myself but it is the other days when I am feeling so down it feels like nothing will help but eating junk food.  It's high I guess?  and it is something I will have to work on to over come it. 

In the past few days I have been on track and I ready to start for the hundredth time.  I am not ready to give up.  My clothes are feeling snug and this has been giving me extra incentive.   

How do you stop yourself from binge eating?   

Here's a few things I have been up to



A walk on the beautiful Canal with one of my amazing friends :)



Having one too many drinks with co-workers.  It was a farewell party




Hiking with friends.  It was one hilly trail!


Getting a pedicure with my Mom