Goal # 4 completed!

I finally tried Spin class.  It was hard and challenging but I am happy and proud of myself that I did it!  After a 45 minute class I was a sweaty mess and sore!  Those seats aren't very big.  If I get serious about spin I think I would invest in some padded shorts.  It was great to go with Jen she is a great workout buddy.  I will let you know how I feel tomorrow.  I posted on Facebook that I tried it for the first time and I had a lot of postive responses.  I am really lucky to have a good support system.

Heading in the right direction

Good News!!! I happen to be looking in the reflection in my window and I randomly flexed my arms.  I saw a definiton in my right arm.  I paused and thought this cant be? So I headed directly to the bathroom and flexed again and and it was there again ! You can definity see a line.  I am that much closer to completing my goal of having defined arms.  It is the little changes I have to focus on. 

  I had a great workout at the gym 20 minutes of weights and a 30 minute sweat session on a new machine.    It is always great to try new things.  

I  also have my eating back on track!!!  Like my best friend told me last week "one step back two steps forward"  

I also suppose to do a spin class tomorrow. I hope there is room for us !   I am a little nervous but I can do it!   I will get my bbf to take a picture and will post later to show I completed one of my goals!  

Should get to sleep busy day ahead of me! 

Do you notice any small weightloss changes?  

Thinking? Planning? Doing?

I sometimes wonder.... Do I give myself enough credit?  Do I do enough to get this weight off?  Why do I sabotage  when I think I am on the right track?  Why do I hate myself so much?

These are the things I think about.....

I  planned on working out 5 times this week.  I worked out 3.

1. Zumba

2. 4o minutes of cardio with my best friend

3. 30 minutes of cardio and 20 minutes of weight circuit

total 1357

Although this is a good start I am so disappointment for not pushing myself harder! There is no reason why I couldn't work out five times other then I was tired.   It is like I do not want to succeed.  Why I am so afraid to reach my goal weight?   What is really stopping me?  

I am trying to be as honest as possible.  It is hard for me and even embarrassing  to write my weight down and to say that  I am food addicted. 

I know what to do, to lose weight.  Eating right and working out.  Calories in = Calories out.  It is  simple!  But have a food addiction makes it complicated. This is a  my challenge to overcome. 

Over eating does make me happy and either does not eating the sugary things I love. So what do I do??? 

For starters deal with the things that are bothering me and find OTHER  outlets to deal with my emotions.

It is kinda like my panic disorder in a way.  I have panic disorder because I not willing to deal with what is bothering me and it comes out as a panic attack.  I know if I start feeling  anxious and focus on my body's responds I panic more and become afraid.   If I actually focus on what is bothering me and breath.  I began to calm down and know the anxiety will pass.  

Writing this down makes me realize  when I get the urge to binge or eat the wrong foods I have to breathe and deal with what is bothering me. I know this will not be easy but I have to believe it can be done.  Because the way I am living right now is not really living. I am constantly obsessing over my body.   I need to start feeling good about myself.

What positive things did I do this week?  

1.Worked out 3 times

2.Organized a budget for myself and have been imputing everything I spend.

3. Went to night school twice this week.  ( I was really embarrassed about taking a high school class at my age, 31 but I am proud that I didn't quit and I am actually learning and understanding what I am doing)

4. Talked to my manager about my shifts  ( This is something that has been stressing me out for weeks.   I have been working at the restaurant for 5 years now and I asked for certain shifts to work which my manager gave me none.  Today I confronted him and I am at least getting two of the shifts I want.  I am glad this is sorted out and I am proud that I stood up for myself)

Getting super tired,  I worked an 11 hour shift. 

Things to focus on for the upcoming week

1. go to an OA meeting

2. deal with my emotions properly

3. cook extra meals so  I won't be tempted to binge. 

Will write back during the week.


What healthy way do you deal with your emotions?

Fall is time for changes!

Although I do not like the cold weather that is  creeping upon us.   I do enjoy fall routines and new adventures!  Busy season at the restaurant has started. Thank gawd!! That means more money to pay off Mr. Visa and Mrs. Student Loans.  Which equals Less stress!    I also started night school tonight to help me towards my goal  of becoming a nurse.   It is a little dull but I'm trying to be optimistic about it.   At least my nutty Chinese teacher is hilirous she kinda of reminds of my step mom but that is a whole different story.

With new routines there is an adjustment period.  I am trying to figure out, when I can schedule my workouts.  I would love to have set days and times  to go.  That way I don't have to spent time actually thinking or negotiating with myself when I should go.  I can almost treat it like a job and not think twice about it.  It might be dull to read but I would like to write it down to show a concrete plan.

Monday-  Weights and Cardio after work.  Around Midnight - one am

Tuesday- Cardio 50 mins.  after class 10pm

Wednesday- Cardio class 5:30 (Yoga or Zumba)

Thursday- Cardio session with my bestie 12:30pm or after night school 10pm

Friday- Cardio eirther  after work 7pm or before work 3pm

Saturday- Rest

Sunday- Rest

I don't know how much I will stick to this plan but I am going  to certainly try. 

As for eating I'm going to start preparing meals to bring to work and night school. That way I won't be tempted to stop by a drive-thru or a vending machine. 

Do you have any healthy recipes I can try?????