Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The past six weeks have been very emotional.   Winter in a whole sucked!  I just wanted to crawl into a hole and that's pretty much what I did!   
The Bad
- Half way through March I stopped doing my monthly challenge.  I just had no motivation
- I ate my emotions for the last six weeks
- I stopped weighing myself
- I became extremely depressed
The Ugly
-I currently weight 253.  (enter sad face here)  that is + 9 pounds for the month!  And +15 pounds in two months!   I haven't seen 253 in over two years and I am mad at myself! 
- All my clothes are feeling super tight even my undergarment which is a real bummer!  I refuse to buy bigger clothes and I can't believe I let myself get this far!  
-  I basically gave up on my diet because I have been so frustrated at seeing the scale go up and down for over a year.   Especially since I have been  trying so hard to do all the right things.   I even went to the doctor to get blood work done and everything was perfect except for my cholesterol which was on the high side. 
- My self talk has been  atrocious.  I wouldn't talk to my worst enemy that way.   I call myself ugly, fat, disgusting,  a loser,  stupid and sometimes I don't understand why people even want to be around me.   I am so hard on myself especially if I make mistakes. 
The Good
- I have been going to the gym at least three times a week
-  One of my friends wanted me to join Weight Watchers with her.  We went to our first meetings last night.  That's when I saw that horrible number on the scale.  But over all it was a good meeting and I think we can really support each other.  ( I have been to Weight Watchers in the past but I am willing to be open minded and give it 100 percent!)   I think going to the meetings will help me stay accountable.
- I recently bought a book on emotional eating and positive self talk.  It has been eye opening, when the author describes examples in the book I feel like I am reading about myself. 
- I finished my first week of training on the program: Couch to 5 Km

-  Rob and I bought a brand new car!!   It's so shiny I love it!
I am extremely happy that spring time is here and  I am optimistic that the next several months will be so much better. 
Thanks for reading. 
P.S  I am going back to weekly weight ins. 
P.P.S  My monthly challenge for April is to run three times a week +  to take a multi- vitamin everyday. 
Thanks for reading. 


  1. Joy, it takes a lot of courage not to give up. I'm glad you started journalizing again, it's good for your emotional & mental health. I'm looking forward to sharing w.w. recipes. Let's make a date soon to discuss the book " Weight loss for people who feel too much" by Colette Baron-Reid. Very interesting concept . Sure sounds like she describing you so just maybe she might have so solutions for both of us. I think you're beautiful, smart , charming so I hope that little fathead voice that tells you otherwise is now gone that spring is here. Mom Q.

    1. Fathead?? lol bad choice of works Mom!! ( joke) Yes I know I need to change myself talk and slowly I will!! Thanks for always being supportive!!

  2. Good luck with your April goal, girl. As for me, I want to drink more water (very bad at it), and exercise 6x a week, no junk food, sugary drinks the whole month. We can do it.


    1. Thank you Honeybee!! I think those are great goals. I am also bad at drinking water too! I try to put an oz of juice in my water to add some flavour.