The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The past six weeks have been very emotional.   Winter in a whole sucked!  I just wanted to crawl into a hole and that's pretty much what I did!   

 

The Bad

 

- Half way through March I stopped doing my monthly challenge.  I just had no motivation

- I ate my emotions for the last six weeks

- I stopped weighing myself

- I became extremely depressed

 

The Ugly

 

-I currently weight 253.  (enter sad face here)  that is + 9 pounds for the month!  And +15 pounds in two months!   I haven't seen 253 in over two years and I am mad at myself! 

 

- All my clothes are feeling super tight even my undergarment which is a real bummer!  I refuse to buy bigger clothes and I can't believe I let myself get this far!  

 

-  I basically gave up on my diet because I have been so frustrated at seeing the scale go up and down for over a year.   Especially since I have been  trying so hard to do all the right things.   I even went to the doctor to get blood work done and everything was perfect except for my cholesterol which was on the high side. 

 

- My self talk has been  atrocious.  I wouldn't talk to my worst enemy that way.   I call myself ugly, fat, disgusting,  a loser,  stupid and sometimes I don't understand why people even want to be around me.   I am so hard on myself especially if I make mistakes. 

 

 

The Good

 

- I have been going to the gym at least three times a week

 

-  One of my friends wanted me to join Weight Watchers with her.  We went to our first meetings last night.  That's when I saw that horrible number on the scale.  But over all it was a good meeting and I think we can really support each other.  ( I have been to Weight Watchers in the past but I am willing to be open minded and give it 100 percent!)   I think going to the meetings will help me stay accountable.

 

- I recently bought a book on emotional eating and positive self talk.  It has been eye opening, when the author describes examples in the book I feel like I am reading about myself. 

 

- I finished my first week of training on the program: Couch to 5 Km

-  Rob and I bought a brand new car!!   It's so shiny I love it!

 

 

I am extremely happy that spring time is here and  I am optimistic that the next several months will be so much better. 

 

Thanks for reading. 

 

P.S  I am going back to weekly weight ins. 

P.P.S  My monthly challenge for April is to run three times a week +  to take a multi- vitamin everyday. 

 

Thanks for reading.