Sunday, March 1, 2015

Things on my mind

I am not sure if any of you have smoked before?   But lately I have been thinking about addiction in general.   I quit smoking 61 days ago.   I am happy not to have to go for that nagging smoke every couple of hours to help with my nicotine withdrawal.  Nicotine sure has a hold on you.  I enjoy not smelling  like smoke, saving money and having stronger lungs.   My sense of smell is even stronger than before and I noticed my teeth are whiter as well.    I have been gentle with myself in this process.  I used an e-cigarette without nicotine to help with quitting.  I used it as much as I wanted at first.  Now I barely use it anymore.

 The first month I quit smoking  I also gave up sugar and bread and was eating clean.  After the first month I slipped up a few times and now after coming back from my trip from Cuba  I  am eating sugar like it is going out of style.    I have had to make a few tough decisions in the past month and basically I just didn't want to deal with them.  So I ate instead more like binged.   The first problem was I had to say "no" to being a bridesmaid in my friends wedding because I cannot afford it.  The plane ticket alone was 800 dollars.   It was a hard decision to make because she has been my friend for over 20 years.   It was just bad timing really.  Rob and I had planned a trip to Cuba before she even got engaged in September.  Plus with me going into my slow season at work there was just no way I can afford a trip for this upcoming October and I refuse to go into debt when Rob and I have been trying so hard to get out of debt.    I finally dealt with the issue on Friday.  I am still feeling guilty about it but I know it is the right decision and I have to let it go. 

The second issue was the last of our debt.   Together Rob and I in the last 5 years have paid off over $35000.   We have about $16000 left and I just wanted to consolidate the rest of it at a lower interest rate so we can pay it off even faster.   It took 5 times to going to the bank, numerous phone calls and lots of frustration.   In the end after a month and half  we finally got what we wanted.   But it should not have taken as long as it did. 

Yes those are the reasons I ate but I need to learn not to use food for comfort.  I guess my problem is and maybe someone can give me some insight.    I am either great when I am following an eating plan but as soon as I eat something sweet.   I go off the deep end and eat everything in sight!   I have tried moderation and it doesn't work for me.  But then I read articles that say you should have everything in moderation otherwise it leads to a binge!   With smoking it  is clear.  I stop smoking cigarettes.  If someone is an alcoholic they quit drinking.  Or if you have a problem with gambling you quit it all together.   If you can't see it already I am really confused.   lol    I was thinking of making a list of all the foods that lead to a binge and just stop eating them all together.  I was also thinking of going to an concellor to see if they have tips to stop the cycle because I growing very tired of this and just want it to stop.     Having a sugar addiction is one of the hardest to stop but I am willing to try.    

Thanks for reading. 

P.S I had a great time in Cuba!  It was a nice break from the weather we are having in Ottawa, Canada.  If you are interested her are some pictures from our trip.  Cuba Pictures

P.P.S.  On Monday  I am starting my 12 week training program for my 10km Race in May



  1. I find sugar is a very hard addiction to kick because it's iusy everywhere - but for me, the trick is just not to have it because I know I can't control it. Think of it this way: would you give a beer to an alcoholic?

    When you crave something sweet, go for fruits! Natural sugars will help kick the craving. After a while of eating little to no added sugars, you will find you A. Don't crave it B. Feel really sick when you do have it and C. Find "sweet" things like chocolate TOO sweet!! (Those ABC's are what happened for me!)

    Message me if you need to talk more, I've learned a TON about myself this past year as far as behaviors go ..

  2. I agree with Mama Lego..... I can't control my sweet addition , so it's easier just not to have it. You've learn a lot about yourself. Praise yourself for quitting smoking and not gaining any weight & dealing with your Bridesmaid issue. Just send her a really nice wedding gift with a nice letter about how much you cherish your friendship. Remember, progress not perfection. Mom Q.