Monday, November 12, 2012


Last night after working a twelve hour shift of running my butt off to serve people drinks and food.  I started talking to a co-worker and discussing the fact that  I should be skinny with all the running around I do at work plus all the workouts but sadly that is not the case.  
I had to work the next morning so I basically went to bed as soon as I got home but after a busy shift I could not shut my brain off.   I started to think about my weight and how frustrated I have been!  Is it because I am not trying hard enough?  or  Because  I really don't  want to lose weight?    Am I not on the right program?  Do I not workout enough?   Then my thinking started to change and I asked myself why do I want to lose weight?    To be honest I didn't have a quick answer.   Yes I want to lose weight to be healthy and look better but I felt like something was missing from my answer.   I have been lucky in my life that my weight has not affect making friends, getting  jobs or having a long term boyfriend sometimes these are reasons why people want to lose weight. 
So what is my reason for losing weight????   I want to lose weight so when I look in a full lenght mirror I am proud of what I see.  It might sound vain but it is the truth.  I want to get to my goal weight so I can help motivate and inspire others.  I want to be a be able to say " if I can do it you can do it too!" 
I want this to be me some day looking happy in the mirror
 What is stopping me from reaching my lifetime goal???   I started to search the web and came upon an article titled " Why Do You Say You Want to Lose Weight But Then Don’t Do It" Losing weight I read through the list and the one that held true to me was Fear!   If you have been reading my blog for awhile you know I suffer from a panic disorder which is based on fear.   I think I am afraid of people treating me different when I do get to my goal weight.  I really think I should be treated the same no matter what weight I am but realistically that is not true.  I noticed when I lost my first 50 pounds all the attention I was getting which was great at first but then made me think what was wrong with me before???     This is something I will have to work through but becoming aware of it is the first step right? 
What are your reasons for losing weight? 


  1. Hi Joy! Very interesting post. First,thank you for saying hi on my blog. I want to lose weight because I like myself but I do NOT like the way I feel when I have to think about my health/appearance and that leads to all kinds of bad things like depression, overeating, self-doubt, etc. I'm at a size where the weight it so great it affects decisions large and small and I don't want that one extra worry/decision anymore. I want to

  2. Fear is an often untalked about component of weight loss - absolutely true.

    My reasons ranged from health to appearance to self-esteem issues. Because it took me over a year to lose the weight, my reasons tended to shift around as my weight dropped.

  3. Thanks Sara :) I am so glad you could stop by my blog. Look forward to reading yours again.

    Thanks Diane for sharing, losing weight is super hard and I am trying to get over my fear. One day at a time.