When I was at my heaviest, at 274 I avoided mirrors. In my head I didn't think I was fat. I had lots of friends, a family who loved me, an amazing boyfriend. Even at my heaviest there was very little standing in my way. Lately I have been noticing since my recent 30 pound loss and 50 pounds to date. I am constantly looking in the mirror not because I am being vain. I am looking in the mirror picking apart my body. Staring at my cellulite thighs, looking at my hanging stomach, grabbing my back fat and wishing it wasn't there. I am a bully to myself, ridiculing myself everyday. Saying how ugly I am. I didn't do this at 274?? Well, not nearly as much as I do now! Why I am doing this at 223??
The other day I decided to stop being so awful to myself and to really look in the mirror at what I did like instead of focusing on the latter. I like how my arms and shoulders are looking stronger. I am exciting to see my cheekbones and my jawline. I like my upper abs and how I am slowly starting to see definition. I know this is going to take a lot of practice to be kind to myself and I know intellectually I should be proud of all the things I have accomplished thus far but my heart hasn't caught up yet. Practice makes perfect right??
What are two things you like about your body??
Thanks for reading.