Why I am tell you this???
Because I need to be honest with myself and to my fellow readers. I'm so disgusted with myself. I feel bloated and I have a really bad stomach ache... I am only hurting myself. I do not want to deal with the feelings I have. I'm angry that my birth father keeps popping into my family lives. I made a decision over two year ago not to have any contact with him but still because of his awful behaviour he is brought back into my life, my mom's and sister's. I just wish he would either leave the country, go into a psych ward or be in jail. Any of those options would work for me. Ignoring this issue is obviously not working hence why I wrote a sample of meals for the last couple of days.
So what do I do????
1. Go to the gym and walk outside to figure out how to come to terms that I have the same DNA with this man.
2. Go to an OA meeting maybe it will help me not feel so alone.
3. Go to Rama Lotus, going there sometimes helps me reflect on my life.
4. Start Blogging more to get my feels out and help me get back on track with my weight loss.
5. Forgive him for my sanity (maybe look into some reading material) Just writing this down is causing me anxiety. I do not want to deal with this it causes me a lot of pain. But that is why I need to!