I got a cold

 I started to have a sore throat yesterday and today my nose won't stop running I think I have gone through half a  box of tissues in the last four hours.

Today  I had to bring my cat Abbey to the vet she has a bump on her tail.  They tested it and the cells look a little abnormal so they are sending it away to see exactly what it is.   I'm trying not to worry about my little Abbey :(  .

Rob and I went to do groceries today and when you are feeling sick you just want to have comfort food.  But I refrained from buying anything I could binge on.  So that it is a positive. 

I was planning on working out today but as the day progressed my cold got worse.  So I have been camped out on the couch.   I hope I am better tomorrow I really don't want to call in sick!  No paided sick days for me.  

Night everyone!

Body Flow with my cousin

Today feeling a bit blue.  But I was able to tidy the house, sleep and cook some meals for the next few days.  I need to do this in order  to  not feel tempted and to set myself up for weight loss success.  to eat the wrong things.  I also went to the gym with my cousin.  We try to go once a week and I really enjoying the time we share.  BTW for people who don't know what Body Flow is its a combination of yoga, tai chi and Pilate's.  I was sweating a lot in the class I don't know if it's because I was being challenged or  the toxins leaving my body?? 

 I tried  this new machine that tells you your body fat percentage.  I was a little sad by the results but it can only get better from here.   Body Fat : 49.6 %  (at least it's under 50)

The little engine that could...

After six weeks of bad eating I am back on track and feeling much better!!   The bloating and cravings were getting to me.    I lost 2 pounds this week and I am going to take one day at a time.  I also want to starting writing daily on my blog to help with my motivation.   Today I had a  great workout with my friend Cassandra :)   30 minutes of walking at 3.5 with an incline.  Then we did weights, back and biceps.   I can do this!   I want the rest of this weight off!   I want to reach my goals and I will continue fighting until I get there.  

What type of workout do you love to do?  

Let down

 I was all ready to start eating  healthy this past Monday but that didn't happen.  It started out okay  on Monday until the end of the night.  When I realized Rob didn't finish the ice cream.  My rational thinking to this was,  "Well I will just finish it, it's not starchy carbs, I will eat it and be done with it!"  Then Tuesday happened, Rob and I went to a hockey game and in the second intermission I went for a smoke and then my mind was only on food " I really wanted something to eat, I can't have pizza, hot dogs or a pretzel..... maybe I will just have an ice cream bar"  and that is exactly what I had!    While driving home from the game,  I told Rob  "I'm hungry", at this point we were pulling into a gas station and across the street was McDonald's.  Rob said "I know what you want"  lol  We drove across the street and bought some fast food.     Then today I decided to do some spring cleaning.  During the day I only had a smoothie and ate a few grapes.  But by the time 3pm rolled around I texted Rob and asked him to pick up Subway for dinner.   Which is fine but later in the night after I took a "nap" from 5pm to 10pm that's when it got bad.  I woke up craving pizza.  I caved and ordered a large plain pizza, garlic sauce and two mini cheesecakes.  I wolfed down half the pizza with the yummy garlic sauce and polished it off with the cheesecakes. 

Why I am tell you this???    

Because I need to be honest with myself and to my fellow readers.  I'm so disgusted with myself.  I feel bloated and I have a really bad stomach ache...   I am only hurting myself.  I do not want to deal with the feelings I have.   I'm  angry that my birth father keeps popping into my family lives.  I made a decision over two year ago not to have any contact with him but still because of his awful behaviour he is brought back into my life, my mom's and sister's.     I just wish he would either leave the country, go into a psych ward or be in jail.   Any of those options would work for me.   Ignoring this issue is obviously not working hence why I wrote a sample of meals for the last couple of days.  

 So what do I do???? 

1.  Go to the gym and walk outside to figure out how to come to terms that I have the same DNA with this man.

  

2. Go to an OA meeting maybe it will help me not feel so alone.

3. Go to Rama Lotus, going there sometimes helps me reflect on my life. 

4.  Start Blogging more to get my feels out and help me get back on track with my weight loss.

5.  Forgive him for my sanity (maybe look into some reading material) Just writing this down is causing me anxiety.  I do not want to deal with this it causes me a lot of pain.   But that is why I need to!

 

Monday will be a new beginning (again)

After three weeks of bad eating and a few major binges.  I have decided its not worth it!  I feel sluggish, bloated and it is only making me feel worse.   It does take a lot of energy to eat healthy but I am up for the challenge!  I have some incentives to eat right and go to the gym.  One, Rob and I are going down south in six weeks and two I have a 10km race in 8 weeks.  

When you are feeling angry or sad what is a your healthy way of dealing with it?